"It" can mean may things... money, groceries, fulfilment, love, the list goes on... Lately, that's been me. I've been feeling I'm lacking something. What that something is, I don't know. Call it mommy blues, post part um or whatever. I feel like I've lost and gained so much in this past year it's mind bowing. Friends gone, job soon to be gone, old apartment gone. New baby, new opportunities, new house. So many things just all at once. I feel a bit overwhelmed. OK more than a bit.
Now everyone says it's normal...
to get a bit down on yourself and have a bad stint.
Having a baby is a huge life change and I understand that. But am I so far removed from my old life that all I can relate to is other new moms and creative diaper changes? I forever am feeling like I'm being judged and looked down upon by other mothers. I sometimes feel inadequate as a mother, wife and a person. Maybe it's my high school self esteem issues coming back into play or the sheer exhaustion but WOW... I feel like I'm being thrown in the ringer repeatedly. I know being a mom changes you, but can I ever be my old self again? What happened to that self assured, confident happy go lucky girl that existed not that long ago? Is she still there hidden beneath 15lbs of baby weight, ponytail and under eye circles? I hope so. I just need to find her again.
