in the end...

Blood is always thicker than water...

In this past year I've learnt alot. There are some people that will always be there and some will let you down horribly...
I've made some great friends and lost others. Such is life, right?

This year has been a year of rekindling connections with my family. Connections that I am SO thankful for. Their love and support means the world to me. It's unbiased, non judgemental and unconditional.

It is the true definition of LOVE. 

Family is Forever 

and I wouldn't have it any other way.

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38 weeks....

We did a lot of walking and running around today, so I was left really sore and exhausted!
So the hubby took care of dinner and ordered take out from our favorite BBQ joint, Loveys :)

Today I'm 38 weeks.... and SOOO ready to have this kid. My entire body feels like I've been hit my a Mac truck and I waddle everywhere. :S

Had an appointment with Dr.Lee today. My blood pressure is now under control. The increase in the dosage of my meds worked wonderfully. So that's a good thing :)

Now... back to laying down....

G'night blog land :)

This is why I love my family....

Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen

Every year without fail

Same house

Same bunch of rowdies + a few with the growing families

<3

Another successful Christmas Eve with the Celones family.

Lots of food,

lots of people,

LOTS of LOVE.

It's never about the presents,

especially now that we're older.

It's just about getting together,

eating,

catching up,

eating,

singing karaoke/ playing rock band,

eating,

playing with the kids,

eating,

and 

fun!

ps- Merry Christmas to all of you and your loved ones!

A baby update and baking binges!

I'm covered in powdered sugar but these little babies are totally worth it!

First baby update!

Big day today :) Appointment with Dr Lee and another fetal assessment!

Doctor's appointment was the usual, but my BP is up! I did have a very frustrating day today so I'm blaming it on that. She didn't seem too concerned but she did increase my meds and got me to do some blood work, just in case. I probably should be drinking more water to flush out the salt in me too, so I'm working on that. Oh and I tested negative for the Strep B bacteria, so that's good :) It's also been a bit harder to rest all the time with Christmas this weekend, but that will be over soon enough and things will settle into normalcy in no time. *fingers crossed*

Fetal assessment time!

Yup, this kid has some attitude. Today the first shot the tech had was his bum! Yup, he mooned us and then shortly after he chose to thrust his crotch in our faces. We warned the tech that he's a difficult kinda kid and that if she needed a series of pictures there's going be at least one that she's not going to get. So there's a few options here... he's going to an exhibitionist, a stripper or just an ass. Yup, he's ours. LOL But everything is going well, he's growing perfectly. He's wiggly, very active and  just under 7lbs right now, so right on track :)

Baking binges:

So I guess this is my nesting phase... I've done a few baking binges in the past few weeks. The honey to-do lists are getting longer and he's been such a good sport. Also, ever since I found that Bakergirl blog it's been baking all the time! She has the best recipes ever!

An advanced (and current) apology to my husband...

I'M SORRY!
OK.
I admit it.
I'm a horrible person right now and I probably will be for the next little bit.
:S
and my poor husband gets the brunt of it most of the time

I am cranky, sleep deprived, having a lot of pain and can barely walk sometimes. The other fun one is the raging hormones I have going on... I'm an absolute peach one second and then the next I'm ready to off the entire world! I have no patience for anything and I want to kill overly happy seasonal associates. (I've worked retail for 15 years+, I can pick you guys out blindfolded!) I'm a hot mess!

This little boy has dropped and is now sitting right on my pelvis. (head down, mind you so he is prepping to get out out!) Sometimes he likes to shift and it feels like hes gonna break through and split me in half! Or the other fun one is when he kicks/punches my bladder so I have to waddle-run to the bathroom and then all you get is a trickle..gah. Oh wait, I love it when I'm trying to sle ep and you wake me up with a swift hit to the ribs(like they're not sore enough already)! And on that sleep note, contrary to what baby may think, I LIKE sleep! I LOVE it, in fact. I remember earlier in this pregnancy all I could do was sleep and now I'm lucky if I can get  5 hour run at night. Oh the woes of pregnancy...  Fun, huh?

It's 5 days before Christmas and we have just a few more presents to go. Yesterday we got most of our shopping done. Needless to say, Christmas shopping sucks being this far along but I will tell you something... I'm insanely thankful that I'm not working! I think I've blocked that part of my brain. The crazy rushes, the rude customers (it's not my fault that you left your xmas shopping till right now and I dont have that super exclusive, hard to find size and style hidden in the back for you) the huge shipments, and insane workload. I've been too busy baking this bun!

So yes, I guess that was my rant.

Im looking forward to Thai food tonight with my cousins.
(Trying to do the spicy food thing to evict this baby from my loins.lol)

so I' ve come to a conclusion....

as promised, peanut butter pretzel truffles.

Baking/candy making has become my form of meditation.

Being this far along in the pregnancy, a lot of physical activity really doesn't do it for me. 

I get tired so easily and not to mention short of breath even trying to climb stairs!

And it's not like I'm eating it all... Everyone else is!

The picture taken above was without the dozen that the boys ate upstairs playing Catan

and you CAN'T eat a lot of these. They are ridiculously rich.

After one, I was done.

How do you get 3 guys to stop talking?

Feed them truffles. 

There's enough peanut butter in there to quiet them for a few minutes.

LOL

***UPDATE ON BABY***

 I guess I should tell you guys that I had another appointment with the lovely Dr.Lee.

She was VERY happy about the results from the fetal assessment.

She said that baby is a perfect size. Not too big and not too small. Just they way she likes it.
Good amount of fluid all around the baby and weighing in at the 50th percentile (about 6lbs)
Blood pressure is under control and Im doing well on the meds.

She likes the fact that the baby is very active and says I might not last till January.
*crosses fingers that she's right*
It might be a December baby!

-just a funny side note-

at the fetal assessment we all got a good giggle.

Apparently baby is a little difficult to photograph.
Every single tech has said the same thing.
Today,all he wanted to show us was
his legs and his crotch.

LOL

Well it's definitely a boy!
He was waving it like it was going out of style

and with that attitude, it definitely ours.

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Jelly filled doughnut muffins?!?

Yup, I said it. Jelly filled doughnut muffins.

now the only problem is to glaze or sprinkle with powered sugar!

Just delicious!

I owe it all to 

http://buddingbaketress.blogspot.com/p/recipe-archives.html

everything that Ive tried off her blog has been amazing!

Thank you!

With my sleep schedule being so outta whack with this little one moving and shaking at all hours of the night, I've taken up baking. Although I dont think anyone is complaining because lots of my neighbors and family have reaped the rewards of this new little hobby. 

LOL

Next up:

Peanut Butter pretzel truffles.

(of course off her site as well!)

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A must read...

http://www.marcandangel.com/2011/12/11/30-things-to-stop-doing-to-yourself/

30 Things to Stop Doing to Yourself

son once said, “Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.”  Nothing could be closer to the truth.  But before you can begin this process of transformation you have to stop doing the things that have been holding you back.

Here are some ideas to get you started:

1. Stop spending time with the wrong people. – Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you.  If someone wants you in their life, they’ll make room for you.  You shouldn’t have to fight for a spot.  Never, ever insist yourself to someone who continuously overlooks your worth.  And remember, it’s not the people that stand by your side when you’re at your best, but the ones who stand beside you when you’re at your worst that are your true friends.
2. Stop running from your problems. – Face them head on.  No, it won’t be easy.  There is no person in the world capable of flawlessly handling every punch thrown at them.  We aren’t supposed to be able to instantly solve problems.  That’s not how we’re made.  In fact, we’re made to get upset, sad, hurt, stumble and fall.  Because that’s the whole purpose of living – to face problems, learn, adapt, and solve them over the course of time.  This is what ultimately molds us into the person we become.
3. Stop lying to yourself. – You can lie to anyone else in the world, but you can’t lie to yourself.  Our lives improve only when we take chances, and the first and most difficult chance we can take is to be honest with ourselves.  
4. Stop putting your own needs on the back burner. – The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too.  Yes, help others; but help yourself too.  If there was ever a moment to follow your passion and do something that matters to you, that moment is now.
5. Stop trying to be someone you’re not. – One of the greatest challenges in life is being yourself in a world that’s trying to make you likeeveryone else.  Someone will always be prettier, someone will always be smarter, someone will always be younger, but they will never be you.  Don’t change so people will like you.  Be yourself and the right people will love the real you.
6. Stop trying to hold onto the past. – You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading your last one.
7. Stop being scared to make a mistake. – Doing something and getting it wrong is at least ten times more productive than doing nothing.  Every success has a trail of failures behind it, and every failure is leading towards success.  You end up regretting the things you did NOT do far more than the things you did.
8. Stop berating yourself for old mistakes. – We may love the wrong person and cry about the wrong things, but no matter how things go wrong, one thing is for sure, mistakes help us find the person and things that are right for us.  We all make mistakes, have struggles, and even regret things in our past.  But you are not your mistakes, you are not your struggles, and you are here NOW with the power to shape your day and your future.  Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.
9. Stop trying to buy happiness. – Many of the things we desire are expensive.  But the truth is, the things that really satisfy us are totally free – love, laughter and working on our passions.
10. Stop exclusively looking to others for happiness. – If you’re not happy with who you are on the inside, you won’t be happy in a long-term relationship with anyone else either.  You have to create stability in your own life first before you can share it with someone else.  
11. Stop being idle. – Don’t think too much or you’ll create a problem that wasn’t even there in the first place.  Evaluate situations and take decisive action.  You cannot change what you refuse to confront.  Making progress involves risk.  Period!  You can’t make it to second base with your foot on first.
12. Stop thinking you’re not ready. – Nobody ever feels 100% ready when an opportunity arises.  Because most great opportunities in life force us to grow beyond our comfort zones, which means we won’t feel totally comfortable at first.
13. Stop getting involved in relationships for the wrong reasons. – Relationships must be chosen wisely.  It’s better to be alone than to be in bad company.  There’s no need to rush.  If something is meant to be, it will happen – in the right time, with the right person, and for the best reason. Fall in love when you’re ready, not when you’re lonely.
14. Stop rejecting new relationships just because old ones didn’t work. – In life you’ll realize that there is a purpose for everyone you meet.  Some will test you, some will use you and some will teach you.  But most importantly, some will bring out the best in you.
15. Stop trying to compete against everyone else. – Don’t worry about what others doing better than you.  Concentrate on beating your own records every day.  Success is a battle between YOU and YOURSELF only.
16. Stop being jealous of others. – Jealousy is the art of counting someone else’s blessings instead of your own.  Ask yourself this:  “What’s something I have that everyone wants?”
17. Stop complaining and feeling sorry for yourself. – Life’s curveballs are thrown for a reason – to shift your path in a direction that is meant for you.  You may not see or understand everything the moment it happens, and it may be tough.  But reflect back on those negative curveballs thrown at you in the past.  You’ll often see that eventually they led you to a better place, person, state of mind, or situation.  So smile!  Let everyone know that today you are a lot stronger than you were yesterday, and you will be.
18. Stop holding grudges. – Don’t live your life with hate in your heart.  You will end up hurting yourself more than the people you hate.  Forgiveness is not saying, “What you did to me is okay.”  It is saying, “I’m not going to let what you did to me ruin my happiness forever.”  Forgiveness is the answer… let go, find peace, liberate yourself!  And remember, forgiveness is not just for other people, it’s for you too.  If you must, forgive yourself, move on and try to do better next time.
19. Stop letting others bring you down to their level. – Refuse to lower your standards to accommodate those who refuse to raise theirs.
20. Stop wasting time explaining yourself to others. – Your friends don’t need it and your enemies won’t believe it anyway.  Just do what you know in your heart is right.
21. Stop doing the same things over and over without taking a break. – The time to take a deep breath is when you don’t have time for it.  If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting what you’re getting.  Sometimes you need to distance yourself to see things clearly.
22. Stop overlooking the beauty of small moments. – Enjoy the little things, because one day you may look back and discover they were the big things.  The best portion of your life will be the small, nameless moments you spend smiling with someone who matters to you.
23. Stop trying to make things perfect. – The real world doesn’t reward perfectionists, it rewards people who get things done.  
24. Stop following the path of least resistance. – Life is not easy, especially when you plan on achieving something worthwhile.  Don’t take the easy way out.  Do something extraordinary.
25. Stop acting like everything is fine if it isn’t. – It’s okay to fall apart for a little while.  You don’t always have to pretend to be strong, and there is no need to constantly prove that everything is going well.  You shouldn’t be concerned with what other people are thinking either – cry if you need to – it’s healthy to shed your tears.  The sooner you do, the sooner you will be able to smile again.
26. Stop blaming others for your troubles. – The extent to which you can achieve your dreams depends on the extent to which you take responsibility for your life.  When you blame others for what you’re going through, you deny responsibility – you give others power over that part of your life.
27. Stop trying to be everything to everyone. – Doing so is impossible, and trying will only burn you out.  But making one person smile CAN change the world.  Maybe not the whole world, but their world.  So narrow your focus.
28. Stop worrying so much. – Worry will not strip tomorrow of its burdens, it will strip today of its joy.  One way to check if something is worth mulling over is to ask yourself this question: “Will this matter in one year’s time?  Three years?  Five years?”  If not, then it’s not worth worrying about.
29. Stop focusing on what you don’t want to happen. – Focus on what you do want to happen.  Positive thinking is at the forefront of every great success story.  If you awake every morning with the thought that something wonderful will happen in your life today, and you pay close attention, you’ll often find that you’re right.
30. Stop being ungrateful. – No matter how good or bad you have it, wake up each day thankful for your life.  Someone somewhere else is desperately fighting for theirs.  Instead of thinking about what you’re missing, try thinking about what you have that everyone else is missing.

Photo by: Rob Brucker

new obsession :oreo truffles

I made these today. It basically  oreo crushed up with butter cream icing and dipped in white chocolate. How could it be bad?

They already seem to be a hit, so im  adding it to the Christmas baking gifts ill be giving out:)

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that's him!!

So this is him. Our little baby Jacob.

We had our second fetal assessment today and everything went well :)
He's quite active and likes to have the sole of his foot right up against my uterus.

Jacob is measuring in the 50th percentile (still) and is right on track for everything.
He's just under 6 lbs and there's a good amount of fluid around him.

My blood pressure is doing well and everything seems great!
Appointment with Dr Lee tomorrow!

If you haven't seen this, you need to....

This is Zach Walhs and he was raised by 2 moms.

All he wants for this year is equality for his family.

His mothers were granted that this year in Iowa.

His main message is 

"Love makes a family"

and I agree.

35 Weeks and a fetal assessment!

I had my first fetal assessment today :)

They are monitoring me a bit more closely due to the fact that my blood pressure is elevated and it's getting so close! Ladies with hypertension have a chance for smaller babies and low birth weights...But not in our case!

Baby is doing just peachy :)
His head is down, he's measuring in the 50th percentile (right on track!), very active (actually surprised the tech with how much he moved) and sucking on his toes! He loves an audience. Anytime the spotlight is on him, I swear this kid moves to make sure people know hes there! Might be a inkling of what's to come. My mom told me that I was a kid that got into everything and Esther told me that Charlie was the same way. So I think I'll have my hands full with this one! Our tech was amazingly wonderful and even gave us free ultrasound pictures! We have one that is him hiding behind the placenta looking straight at us, a great shot of his foot and cute little side profile of his face and get this... it looks like a Celones Nose!!!


I do feel myself getting more tired as the days go on. I find myself sleeping alot but it's OK. It's what I need to do to keep this blood pressure down and this baby healthy, right? Oh and who doesn't like a nap in the middle of the day?  Heartburn has been my biggest woe lately, nothing a tall glass of milk wont fix though:) And that means lots of hair, or so I'm told!

Now its a fetal assessment and a visit with my obgyn every week until this baby comes! So I'll see baby again next Wednesday at 3pm!

My heart goes out to the Nguyens..

On Saturday I got a message from a friend letting me that his mother passed away. It was a stroke and very unexpected.

From what I know; She, her husband and 2 small children moved here in the early 80's with dreams of better futures for their children. They had one more boy here and raised them to the best of their abilities. The family lost their father early in life so she raised 3 children wonderfully for the most part on her own.  She was a stickler on education for her children and it has definitely paid off. All 3 of them are smart, well educated, successful and phenomenal people. I knew she was an amazing cook and I know that Michael was trying to learn all her recipes. I hope to one day sample the famous Nguyen Pho. Her boys spoke never spoke ill of her and praised her to no end. If her boys speak anything to her character, she must of had a heart of gold as well. I've had the pleasure of working with her 2 boys for the past few years and love them dearly. They both are caring, loving, hard working men that are constantly putting others in front of themselves. I know she would be proud of them and happy to see what kind of men that they have become. She is now looking down on them with their father, smiling.

I would have loved to be at the funeral today but in Vietnamese culture, it's bad luck for pregnant women to attend. It passes bad luck on to the child. So out of respect for the culture and the family, I stayed home. Of course I am with them in spirit and I hope they know that.

My heart, my love and my prayers go out to Anh, Michael and Chi.

Be strong and be there for each other. All of us are all here for you now and always will be.
<3

December!!!

Whoa... It's December already! Where has this year gone?!

This past Sunday was our baby shower and it was wonderful. Our only beef was it was it was the same time as the Grey Cup and the Bombers were in it!LOL Most people had the same idea and were sure to get out of the there by 6. (kick off was at 530)

We received tonnes of gifts and gift certificates! The outpouring of love from everyone was amazing and a bit overwhelming. We've spent this week putting together gifts, washing all the new clothing and bedding and recovering from a very busy weekend.

Saturday was our niece's birthday party out in Ste. Rita and we had a packed van. Abbie and all the kid were adorable as per the normal. Mike's niece and nephew were also out there. Petra is the tallest 3 year old Ive ever met and also one of the most well mannered. I especially liked it when she asked when she asked Jaclyn when she was going to give Rilee and brother or sister because she had one. Oh and Moose! Moose is Petra's baby brother Dane. Dane, also like Petra is big for his age.  Just a taller, thick kid but gentle and adorable. He was in love with Rilee and let her manhandle his face as they were playing on the floor. Awesome. Those are gonna be some tall kids.

After the baby shower on Sunday, we rushed home, unloaded the van (it took us 2 trips to get all the gifts out!) Put our feet up and watched the Bombers lose the Grey Cup. Oh well there's always next year, right?

I had my 34 week checkup today and all is well. Blood pressure is nicely in check and I'm scheduled for a fetal assessment next week. Dr. Lee says I'm progressing well and everything looks like its going to be a fairly easy delivery.

that's it for now... Im going to leave you with my song of the moment

Congrats to Shael and Chris on the arrival of little baby Eva!!!

For the past week or two I haven't been able to sleep very well and I would find myself on Facebook, usually about 2 or 3 am-ish.

Luckily for me another mommy to be was also up. Shael is an old friend from my past I've always been friendly with. She's a beautiful, spunky Argentinan bombshell (seriously, she could be a pinup) and she was a fantastic DJ to boot! She was 7 weeks ahead of me (due Nov22) and during one of our complaint sessions via facebook posts, she private messages me saying that she was up for a different reason... she was having labor pains that were coming 10-12 mins apart! Holy Crap!!! So of course she got off facebook and concentrated on the task at hand. That was the last I heard of her since yesterday...

Yesterday she has posted that she had delivered a healthy baby girl (named Eva) and both are happy and doing well. Im so happy for them! Her boyfriend had posted a picture and she is just perfect and beautiful!

I can't wait till you guys get home so I can possibly visit :)

Honesty in words..

Jessie J-Who you are (boombox Series)

I stare at my reflection in the mirror:
"Why am I doing this to myself?"
Losing my mind on a tiny error,
I nearly left the real me on the shelf.
No, no, no, no, no...

Don't lose who you are in the blur of the stars!
Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing,
It's okay not to be okay.
Sometimes it's hard to follow your heart.
Tears don't mean you're losing, everybody's bruising,
Just be true to who you are!
(who you are [x11])

Brushing my hair, do I look perfect?
I forgot what to do to fit the mold, yeah!
The more I try the less it's working, yeah
'Cause everything inside me screams
No, no, no, no, no...

Don't lose who you are in the blur of the stars!
Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing,
It's okay not to be okay.
Sometimes it's hard to follow your heart.
But tears don't mean you're losing, everybody's bruising,
There's nothing wrong with who you are!

Yes, no's, egos, fake shows, like WHOA!
Just go, and leave me alone!
Real talk, real life, good love, goodnight,
With a smile, that's my home!
That's my home, no...

No, no, no, no, no...
Don't lose who you are in the blur of the stars!
Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing,
It's okay not to be okay...
Sometimes it's hard to follow your heart.
Tears don't mean you're losing, everybody's bruising,
Just be true to who you are!
Yeah yeah yeah

I can only hope that I can teach my kid this.
I hope we have singers like this when he's old enough to be interested in it.

So proud!

This is my God daughter Mimoza Duot.

 She is simply amazing and going to go far in this lifetime :)

This is the debut of her very first Single 

"Love"

ft. Kardinal Official!

ENJOY!

Things are starting to look up!

I love this video, it always makes me laugh :)

And so ends a wonderful weekend... 

I had reservations about leaving work so early but it was needed and I know that now. I feel much better now. My mind, body and soul are much more at peace and I'm feeling more prepared for little Jack's arrival. Without the work stresses, I'm finding that I sleep better... and at one point sleep was all I wanted. I will admit, my body did need a few days to adjust to the Labetalol. One of the side effects is unusual tiredness and headaches. For the first few days, I slept most of the days away. I think that it was a combination of actually needing it and the medication. I started feeling better Thursday night which is good because that takes us to Friday...

Friday was good times in Ste Rita! My cousin Sarah had invited us, my cousin Jen, her husband Jason and our niece Taylor out to their house about 45 mins outside of the city for the day. Oh and what a day it was!  We started off Sarah, Mike and their cutie pie of a daughter, Abernathy greeting us at the door. Taylor immediately ditched us and was Abbie's bff for the day. We sat around the table and caught us and gabbed away for hours! Then the subject of guns came up...Being converted country folk of course they had some. The Mike suggested we go out back for some target practice, Sarah agreed. She said that she would get dinner started, can you believe that it was 5pm already? We've been there for 3 hours already, it totally flew by!

 So here we go... a little background here now. Jen and I haven't even been near a gun before and yes, were somewhat terrified but determined to get over it. Jason grew up in Thunderbay and on a hunting/fishing lodge, so he's had the most experience but hasn't shot anything in a long time and Charlie is really good at shooting video games but never held a real gun before that day. Mike gave us a choice of a .22 calibre rifle (the pussy gun) and a 12 gauge shotgun (the man's gun). Jen and I immediately rose our hands for the 22 and after a short tutorial for Mike, Jen was up. He had but up a 2L pop bottle up on a fence post for a target. Jen stepped up to the shooting line and held up that 22... she slowly lined up and squeezed the trigger. BANG! Holy f'n crap! She hit the mark bang on! We cheered her on and she slowly put down the gun and turned around, clearly shaken up a bit. After the shock wore off, she realized what she did. Now she was beaming and it was my turn... 

Oh geez, I was never really a fan of guns and here I was about to shoot a rifle. So that's it. Off to the mark I go. I lifted the barrel, clicked the safety off and squeezed the trigger... and nothing. GAH! Apparently that one was a dud.LOL So with a quick adjustment, I was up to the mark again. I stared down the scope, found the 2L and squeezed. BANG! Holy shit! I actually hit it! The rush was insane and SO much fun!

Now the boys are up... Jason went and hit nothing and same with Charlie. Mike was on the verge of ripiing up the Man cards they came in with. hahah

And now the 12 gauge... After the rush of the first gun, I had to do this too! This time we all hit the mark, kinda awesome. This gun had a lot more power and a lot more kick back. Totally felt that in my arm the next day:) So yes, I shot a gun... two of them in fact :) I'll admit I kinda liked it.

Now, back inside! Dinner was going and we all assumed our positions at the table and ate... and I mean ATE.  Wow, I don't think I've ever been so full. And of course, we yapped and yapped! Holy crap was it really 9pm? The original plan was to be out of there by 630-7 ish to be able to hit tito Henry's house. Honestly, we could have stayed there forever. It did not seem like we were there for 7 hours, I thought it was probably one of the most theraputic nights I've had in a long time, for all of us. it's now 930 and we're back on the road to the city...

Within minutes, Taylor was passed out and we were en route to Jen and Jasons so the could let the dog out and grab tito Henry's card. Tito Henry's house was a gong show! I seriously do not know how that many people managed to fit in that house! We had people spilling out into the streets! I had family in from out of town, My tito rading, his son Chris (so tall and cute!), my tito Eddie (a Habs fan but, we've made our peace with it) and my lovely tita Lolly. We made the rounds and got the heck out of there... waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too hot and waaaaaaaaaaaay to tired for all that :)

Saturday was a day to relax during the day. We enjoyed a nice little sleep in, lazed around the house and then headed to Jen's place for the Pacquiao/Marquez fight! (GO MANNY!)  Manny won, of course...

Sunday was just another relaxing day. A few hours with the inlaws and then home again :)

All in all a great weekend :)

That's it, that's all!

So I am officially done with work until next year!

I had very mixed feelings about this but now I'm settling into it nicely. I feel obligated to my work to be there helping out as much as I can... but my cousin Jen said it best "Work doesn't give a shit about you. You may love your job but it doesn't love you back".

 After the little hospital episode yesterday, I went in to see my doctor today. She agreed with the new medication that I'm on and spoke to me about not working anymore. She said that I shouldn't be putting anymore stress on my body and baby than completely necessary... so the upcoming head office visits are a definite no-no. With my heightened blood pressure I should be laying down as much as possible and relaxing. Everything else seems to be in order other than that. I passed the glucose tolerance test with flying colors and my iron levels were awesome. YAY!

So now 9 more weeks and counting!

Long day...

So today was... eventful, we'll say.

Started off at work in a need to work mode. Lots of stuff to do, never enough time. The CEO of the company is coming on Wednesday and of course there's an insane(sometimes unrealistic) list of things to do.  Then it happened. I got sick. :(

I haven't been feeling the best all weekend. It started off on a Saturday with a small headache, a bit of nausea and just pure and utter exhaustion. I got home from work and just slept. Sunday was an early morning staff meeting and I got home and crashed for 3 hours after that. We had family dinner and then again, sleep. I was getting cold sweats and throwing up a bit. I finally got back to bed and then at work it happened again. Just out of nowhere I had to get sick. Very unusual to me considering I haven't gotten sick this entire pregnancy. My morning sickness never made me throw up. So I was a bit worried, worried enough to actually call the doctors office. I called, explained the situation to the assistant and she told me go straight to the women's hospital triage.

Oy.
That's when a million things start running through your mind.
Fear was a big one for me. Whats wrong with me? What's wrong with baby? Are we ok? What did I do wrong? Am I being punished for something? Im not working hard enough, or the flip of the that Im working too hard...
All thoughts were just silly.
I told the other manager Sam, my boss and called the hubby to come get me... and then burst into tears in the back office. There go those hormones...
Thank goodness for Sam and her reasoning and personal experiences. Shes a mom and calmed my fears for the time being.

The hubby got there and whisked me away to the hospital.

The best thing ever was walking in and seeing Shael!
Shael is an old friend who is 37 weeks pregnant and had a fetal assessment today and was just waiting for her ride to get her. She was nothing short of stunning (she always is) and was in fantastic spirits even though she just found out that she may have to be induced this week. Im hoping thats not the case for her and am sending her tonnes of positive vibes her way. (Good Luck little girl, stay in mommy for just a bit longer!)

I got admitted and all the waiting began. First a full blood pressure panel and blood work. Oh and of course a pee test. The triage/perinatal unit was bumping when we got there so I actually was stuck in a chair  for a few hours... at least it was a comfy chair. They did all the tests and yes, my blood pressure was still too high and I had a slight fever as well. The flu is going around so none of the nurses were surprised. Apparently they've seen a lot of it in the past few days. They were now just waiting for a bed for me so they could check up on baby... and a few hours later one finally opened up! They hooked me up to a baby monitor and there he was, strong heartbeat and having a dance party in my tummy. What can I say? He likes an audience. As soon as the nurse put the monitor on, he was actively running around the womb. Kicking and shifting around so sometimes you would hear him and then he would dip out for a sec and come back a bit later. Crazy kid.

Results on all the test came back. No protein in my urine, so no preeclampsia. Awesome news, I was afraid of the that most of all. Blood work was good, baby is moving lots with a strong heartbeat. Only thing they were worried about was my blood pressure. It still wasn't going down so they decided to put me on labetalol, a medication to lower blood pressure and on an anti needle program. Basically someone will come to my house and monitor my BP just to make sure everything is going well.

I have to call Dr Lee tomorrow and make an appt to see her sooner rather than later and then I should get a call from the doctors office as well because they would like to give me a fetal assesment.

That being said, I spent 3.5 hours at work, 5 hours at the hospital, another hour getting the prescription and  got home with a nauseous, hungry tummy and a cranky attitude. I ate and took a nap. I couldn't do anything else with myself. Im exhausted and too stressed out (mainly work related) to function right now. I had a snack and now Im going back to bed.

Tomorrow has to be a better day.

Oy vey...

So I had a baby appointment today... News not so good :(

My blood pressure is higher than it should be and I'm not getting enough rest. Not really surprising considering I work retail and I have a huge Head Office visit next week. We are going to test again in 2 weeks but if things don't change I may be going on sick leave before the Mat leave.
 
Reality is that I need to start taking better care of myself. My move to KP was not easier for me...in fact it makes my life harder. A longer commute everyday, I don't sit down as much, I do more physical work, I train more and I help more customers because its a higher volume store... I don't get it, how is that easier? Im supposed to be taking it easier there.. WTF?!

We also don't know the results of my Glucose tolerance test today. I hope it's ok. That drink tasted like Mc Donalds orange drink and I could feel the sugar pumping through my veins... It was crazy. Im pretty sure I crashed on the sugar a bit later, I needed a 3 hr nap :S

Tonight went better. I had dinner at Stellas with my wonderful cousins Jen, Jason, Jaclyn, baby Rilee and of course the Hubby. They always make me feel better after a bad day, oh and the Jets won :)  That's good too! We laughed all night and that's happy medicine for me.

the expanded version...

[bad day rant] :(

Thank you to the Hubby for buying me my favorite cake after having a bad day :)

You ever have one of those days?

I woke up late which is good because I haven't been feeling the greatest all week. I had some breathing/athsma issues earlier this week that are still working themselves out so I thought taking the day off would serve me well. I knew there was coverage and let people know about it yesterday. Hell, I even asked if it was ok! So I did, I actually took a sick day. Well that didn't go as well as I wanted it to. Instead of relaxing and resting up, I felt guilty about taking time off (even though I never do). 

That ruined my day.

I was grumpy, still extremely worn down, stressed out and depressed. 

Great.

Everyone knows a pregnant woman is a raging hormone factory right? Making a pregnant woman feel guilty about something will be about a million times worse than you think it will make someone feel. GAH! I'm trying to chalk it up to the fact that I'm taking things to personally lately...but it's really hard not to. I feel like I'm working my ass off for nothing. It's a constant struggle...I feel like no matter what I do, it's never good enough. If I give 110%, I should be giving 115%. 

But I just can't. 

I can't physically do it anymore. This little bun in my oven takes alot of my energy and even more so that I'm in my last trimester. I come home from work and it takes all of me not to fall asleep on the car ride home now. Not to mention that the commute to and from work has more than doubled too.Thank goodness for a very patient husband who has been tending to my every whim.

[end rant]

nuff said.

Whoa... Starting to feel it now.

By the end of the day, I feel like the Fat guy...

So I thought this whole pregnancy was going great until this past week. I started at KP this week and I don't know if it's the flooring, the fact that I can't sit as much as I did at Portage or the pregnancy but I ache to no end. In reality it's probably a good combination of everything. But wow, I'm sore. I guess it could be worse right?  There are so many complications that could have happened but haven't so I guess I should consider myself lucky, which I do.  I have 5 more weeks before vacation and mat leave... so close yet so far!

27 weeks now and counting.

Happy Jets-giving/Turkey day!

One of my favorite things on Earth right now... Ube Macopuno Roll cake. Thank you to Tita Dory for bringing it!

Today was a fantastic day in Winnipeg :) The JETS are back and they played their first home game against the Habs today :) And no, we didn't win but there was something special about the day anyhow. The positive vibe downtown (HUGE sales at the store), the buzz anywhere in the city, the constant flow of Jets Merchandise on Everyone and Everything! Just great :)

It was only our first game and you know what? True fans still stick by their team even when the chips are down! We still got a whole season to go and the boys did play a good game. We'll see who's in the playoffs this year..That's right folks! I'm calling it! The jets are making it to the Cup!!

Today was also Thanksgiving! We had 2, yes 2 thanksgiving dinners to attend today..whoa. That's alot of food! First was dinner at Racheal and Chris' and we were doing the turkey! So today was up at the crack of dawn and cooking. We made the turkey, mashed potatoes,gravy,cranberry sauce, tsimmis ( a sweet potato and carrot casserole) and 2 apple cranberry crisps. ( I had to have another one to bring to the other function) So yes, up at 8, breakfast at 9, turkey in at 1130, Charlie peeling veggies and fruit for 2 hours and me assembling and cooking for hours! That took us right till 6 and down the elevator we went (they live on the fourth floor). And wow did we eat... Im still reeling from it and it's 6hours later! then at about 9, we drove Esther and Eli home and took Apple Crisp #2 to tita libs. We got there and they were already in full tongits swing. Of course we goT the offer to eat more but I just couldn't.. waaaaay too much food earlier. I did notice my favorite thing ever sitting on the table... Ube Macopuno roll cake (pictured above) .. Oh god, I crave it often. and it was the good kind too! The one with super silky buttery icing. Oh so good... I had to take a big piece home with me! We did dive into it a bit already but We'll save the rest for tomorrow. Im excited for leftovers tomorrow and doing a whole lot of nothing!

So thats it, thats all. I am done! Too much itis and need to lay down and pass out! 

Happy Thanksgiving! 

-remember that thanksgiving just doesn't have to come once a year, it should last all year long! Tell the ones you love that you love them often! 

All you need is love... with a goodbye and a few tears.

I found this movie on Netflix today and forgot how much I loved it.

...and it's true all you need is love.

It's been a rough few weeks I must say. Mostly work related stresses but I think I came out of it relatively unscathed. In 2 weeks we flipped the store ( a HUGE ordeal, painstaking and extremely labour intensive), set up a sidewalk sale, trained a new full timer, trained a new part timer, said goodbye to my right hand man (he got a real job and I'm SOO proud of him) and did a res run. Wow. It was stressful and exhausting. I was almost at the point of cracking and so were alot of my staff. It really did take a toll on the staff (a few were ready to quit because of the workload, it was that insane) but I realized how hard they will work for you if you work just as hard beside them. They are such a hardworking bunch that all truly care about each other and the store. I have a great group of kids that I am forever thankful for... which made it even harder to leave them today.

Yes, today was my last day at Portage Place. I tried not to make it a big deal, I just kinda let it sneak up on me and the staff. I didn't want to make it a big deal because I know if I did, I'd be in tears the whole time.  It was a short day for me because I took back some of the overtime I worked last week, even better because I haven't been feeling so hot lately.  We worked hard and the time went by so quickly that my shift felt like nothing. Before the guys got there I wrote a note to my staff telling my staff how much I loved them and was so proud of them. I basically left it on the counter and tried to leave as quick as possible, no tears right?!? 

WRONG! Of course Phil has to be the first one to hug me and not let go...jerk, I started tearing right there. Then came Justin, I told him how proud of him I was and he turned red, cute. Then my newbie full timer, Junior. That kid is only 2 weeks into this full time position and I'm convinced that he'll be running a store in no time. It will be good to have him work with Roger, he'll be able to learn so much from him. And then of course I couldn't leave without seeing my copy cat Chris De Monye.  De Monye is a security guard there and he's been there just as long as I have. Funny thing with him is that everything I did he would do shortly after. I got engaged, so did he. I had a social, so did he a few months later. I got married at Bridges and a few moths later so did he. Now were expecting a baby boy on January 11th, he and his wife are due on the 16th.  Crazy huh? Oh wait, we both decided to name our boys Jacob. Funny enough we both are naming our children after a grandfather too. He made sure he got to say goodbye before I left. I'm leaving by a fantastic group of people at Portage Place but I'm leaving them in Roger's capable hands. I'm glad that he has the chance to run a store again, he deserves it.

I am extremely proud the staff at Portage Place. I feel like I have grown up with all of you. Many of you have or will be moving on to bigger and better things. I'm glad I got to be part of your lives for that small time. We've been through so much together. So many good times and even some bad patches but we all came out it better, stronger and together as a team. I couldn't ask for more than that in a work family :) Thank you for always going that extra mile for me, working your asses off, making me laugh and not letting me take things too seriously. You are all amazing individuals that are going to be something great in this life time. I stand by the fact that I only hire the best because all of you are.

I start a Kildonan Place on Tuesday, for 6 weeks, then 3 weeks of holidays, then maternity leave and MOTHERHOOD! Oh its been such a whirlwind already...

 but as Jay-Z said 

On to the next one...

Happy List.

Things I'm happy for right now :) (in no particular order)

1. the hubby, Charles.
-for putting up with me. I know I'm a handful even without the raging hormones and you've been sooo good to me. My late night and early morning cravings. I know normal people don't need perogies and sour cream for breakfast but you still ran out at 730 am to find it for me :). I know normal people don't make you drive around the city to find ube cake. I appreciate everything you do and when I'm a bit more normal it'll come back at ya.
2. My parents, Nelson and Cresencia.
-You've been nothing but supportive. When I needed new clothes, you converted my old jeans into maternity ones! Anything I needed whether it was a pizza pop, to do laundry or a hug. Now my wonderful mom is planning a baby shower. I have no doubt that it will be wonderful. Everything you do for us always is.
3. My in-laws, Esther and Eli.
-again nothing but supportive. I'm glad that this baby is a reason for you to want to get better sooner. I'm happy you want to be involved so much and I welcome every belly rub you give. Thank you for instilling the weekly family dinner, I feel it's an important thing. It instills family values and it keeps us from cooking at least one night a week! Any time I can spend with family rather than the kitchen, the better:)
4. My brother, James.
- You are the strong silent type but I get you. I can't believe that you have already started buying stuff for the baby!! It was a bit of a shocker to me, honestly. You are gonna be a great Tito and just for that, you can use baby to be your wing man anytime:)
5. My cousin Jen and her Hubby Jason.
- What can I say about you two?  I love you guys. I love that we have all connected so well lately and I can bitch and complain about anything without you passing any judgement on me. I love dinners at your place, watching you guys "Just Dance" and just having the strength of family behind me.
6. My Cousin Jaclyn and her baby Rilee.
- SOOO much advice that you have given me has been taken to heart already! It's amazing what a wonderful mom you've become in such a short time. I hope I can pick up on things as quickly as you have and I know you'll be there kicking my ass if I don't. :)

There are so many things I'm happy for right now. The outpouring support that I've had from everyone has been so fantastic (overwhelming at times). My regular customers are amazing, so many of them have been insanely happy for us and even have started giving us small gifts! Those are things that I would never have guessed. That being said , it's nice to know that you've made an impact on people by just working retail and being nice.

I've made a lot of realizations during this pregnancy, many good and some a bit upsetting but needed. I've found that being pregnant will either bring out the best in people or the worst. I choose to focus on the positive and leave the negative behind me. This is an amazing time in my life and I am thankful for what I have .

And I'm back... at least for right now.

Whoa... what a whirlwind back to school has been. Totally short handed, huge workloads and exhausting days/nights. The funny thing is I'm still short handed, there's still huge workloads and I'm still exhausted. Good news, I found a full time guy and new part time day girl. After a bit of training, I'm sure that the both of them are going to be huge asset to the store. In 4 weeks I go to KP and work out the rest of my time till I hit mat leave there. They think it's going to be "easier" on me, I don't think so but I'll do what I need to do to and take one for the team... Enough on work.

Yesterday I had a wonderful dinner with my cousins Jen, Jaclyn, her daughter Rilee , Hon Ha, her son (also my nephew) Damian. We ordered Chinese and yapped the night away! Damian told me all about starting school this week, he's in french immersion and learned how to say-hello! My name is Damian! in french. It was adorable! That kid is probably one of the coolest kids I know. Seriously, he had on grey skinny jeans, black chuck taylor hi-tops and a Darth Vader hoody that he picked out himself!  He's also a riot and he loooooooves Rilee! He just kept making funny faces at her, making her laugh. Such a good  kid :) He even got to take a bath at tita's house before he went home. I realized that I have such a good support system around me and no matter how scary everything maybe at times. Its gonna be ok.

So it's been a while... but there's news!

So I kind of have been neglecting this blog as of late...I'm sorry but I cant help it.

 It's the busiest season of the year for us at work (back to school) and I've been very shorthanded. I lost 2 full time people in the span of 2 weeks, right before back to school. GAH! Meghan was promoted and Jon has moved on to bigger and better things. So needless to say, I've been busy.

So what's new you ask? Well..

WE'RE HAVING A BOY!!'

yup, that's right. A little boy.

 Bets were won and lost on that news. I think some of the guys are now owed lunch or something or other. I was never really biased towards either gender, I just had to know. All I wanted was a healthy baby and we got it. :) Although I think a boy might be a little easier in the long run. My mom wasn't as devastated as I thought she would be when I told her. I think she's just happy that there's an impending grandchild on the way.

Ok that's it for now. I need some sleep, another big day ahead of me. I promise when this whole busy season is over, I'll get to this blog a bit more. :S

and the Birthday weekend has come to an end...

Very different this year. Normally a birthday weekend would consist of a whole lotta drinking and dancing, this year... not so much. Not that I'm complaining at all, I mean it was a great week :)

Tuesday was dinner at my cousin Jen's house. Jen and I are only a few months apart and I find now that we are a bit older, we are so much alike. We have a lot of the same views on things and on life in general. Also joining us that night were my cousin Jaclyn, her brand new baby girl Rilee, Hon ha, her son and also Jen's nephew Damian and the hubby. Jen cooked us up an awesome meal and Hon Ha brought chocolate ice cream for dessert. It was a good time. Jason, Jen's husband joined us after he was done work and added some much needed testosterone to the estrogen party (poor Charlie). Rilee was passed out for most the night giving mommy a much needed adult break and Damian was such a good kid. He was so proud of the fact that he picked the ice cream that everyone was enjoying.It was such a good night, great food, great conversation and just an all around good night.

My actual birthday was on Wednesday and I spent it with my family. Just the way I wanted it.

I slept in a lot, a wonderful thing when your job consists of being on your feet all day. At about noon, I got up and headed to my parents place. They weren't home and my brother was still asleep (poor guy works midnights). So we did what any other kid at their mom's house would do... raided the fridge! Oh it was a good raid too! We ended up eating pizza pops and juice for lunch! Pizza pops are one of those things that we see at the grocery store and we know are just too awful for us so we never buy them. But magically at mom's house they suddenly become healthy and that will justify eating 2 of them. Still no one home and James still asleep so what did we do? Took a nap! About 2pm, my parents came home. My mom was all smiles to see us and then here come my dad with a huge bag of fabrics. He proudly dumped them all over the living room floor to show us. Apparently they got a huge deal on it all, I think they said something like $15 dollar for over 30m of fabric. I gotta admit there was some really cool stuff in there. Then the other surprise, my mom had plans to turn most of it into a maternity wardrobe for me! Did you know that she can take my old jeans with some stretch fabric and a bit of seamstress magic, she could turn them into maternity pants? I know, WOW! What a relief! My regular clothes are getting a bit tight and I was dreading having to buy maternity pants. My brother woke and and we finished our birthday extravaganza off with a visit to Buffet Square and Young's grocery. Such a nice day. Refreshing actually. I think now that I'm pregnant, I appreciate my family so much more.

Thursday was a just me and hubby birthday dinner. We decided to try out a new restaurant on Taylor called Carbone. I've been raving about it all week and always will. We got there and one the owners opened the doors for us and complimented Charlie on his Jets shirt(GO JETS GO). We were seated quickly and enjoyed every moment of our experience there. The food was fantastic, service was great and so inexpensive! So seriously, go there. It's amazing.

Friday was the ultrasound!!! We finally get to see baby! We got there early because the letter told us we should be and then waited over an hour just to get in. Totally worth it. We sat in the waiting room texting the ones we love with a simple question, Pink or Blue? We got a barrage or responses really quickly. So far it's Blue blue winning battle.
Charlie's mom is a doctor at the same hospital we were having the ultrasound so we invited her down to also be a viewer. They called my name and off I went. The tech  introduced herself as Rishni ( I think) and we got down to business. We pretty much sat in silence for the 10-15 mins as she moved the probe around my tummy and press a bunch of keys...I had to break the ice:
"so, is everything looking ok?"
"oh yes, Im just taking pictures and measurements of the baby to make sure that it growing properly and that there are no abnormalities."
"oh, ok... so there's only one in there right?
"yes,*giggles a bit* only one"
"phew, well that's a relief"
...more silence.
"so can you tell the gender of the baby?"
"oh yes, it pretty obvious"
"...so, it's a ...."
"it will all be in the doctors report and she can tell you"
"GAH!!"

a few minutes later, she told me to wipe off the gel and empty my bladder, thank god because Ive been holding it for 3 hours now! I walked back in and she finished up her pictures and went out into the hall to invite Charlie and Esther in. She showed us a side profile of the baby, a leg and an arm... we could also see the heart beating and the baby moving...alot!
So cool, it makes it that much more real now and the perfect birthday present to myself. There really is a little person growing in there!!!
HOLY CRAP!
So after all that I had to go to work! It's tax day and I know it's gonna be a busy one.

Saturday was pretty chill. Worked all day and had the traditional family dinner with the Herscovitch's. Dim Sum, yum yum!

Sunday was a great day too:) Myrna's breakfast/lunch with the hubby and Ron followed by a Home Depot run. Charlie helped Ron finish up a light table and I took a nap because the "itis" that Myrna's gave me. After I woke up from my nap, It was my official birthday dinner with the in-laws at where else? My favorite restaurant of the moment, Carbone.

and that's a wrap for the weekend :)

at 19 weeks and 5 days, almost halfway there :)